Flowers

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You loved flowers, but I never bought you one, for I had this stupid idea — stupid, but one I ardently believed in — that why pluck something to show your love, or kill it as an expression of joy or love? Flowers are more beautiful when they are in nature; they bloom, they smile, and they give way to new life. Why do we need to pluck them and give them away — what good do we do for them, if not just make them a showpiece, or keep them safe in a diary or as a bookmark? But I don't understand what joy that brings us. For when I see that old, wrinkled, slowly dying flower, it only reminds me of what I have done to such a beautiful gift of nature — why have I killed a thing of such beauty?

People do give flowers — not just a single one, but a whole bouquet — as an expression of love, of mourning, or of care. They believe the flowers put a smile on the face of their loved ones, and that smile is worth it. Maybe all of what we do is an attempt to put a smile on our loved ones' faces.

Smile — I think it's the expression of both the most painful and the most joyful moments of our lives. If one learns to hide their pain with a smile, there is no pain greater than that. And if one learns to smile through every moment of one's life, there is no life more beautiful than that. But a smile does carry a strange, contagious nature — when we smile together, we feel part of something bigger than ourselves, something more important, something more joyful than we are alone. But what if the one smiling isn't happy, and just wants to hide how terrified they are of their pain — so much that they even fear it being seen on their face? That is something that i find to be deeply painful. 

Can the flowers help it, as one watch it dying? Why do we grieve for something we killed ourselves? Why do we try to make people smile when we are the ones who gave them the pain in the first place?

I want you to smile more — not a smile that conceals, but one that gives away everything you have inside you. I want the world to know how beautiful you look when you truly smile. I don't want you hiding beneath your smile all the things that have been scaring you — but all I can do is wish. 

So, I feel I should have given you a flower. Maybe then you would have smiled. it's strange how one's own logic is contradicted in the face of emotions and the more you try to run away from them you shall find them near to you.



Note. 




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